Should motherhood define me? – B1+ English Reading Test

Should motherhood define me?

Most of my friends and colleagues who are in their late thirties to early forties have reached their milestones. They have a husband – not always the best choice – and one or two children, which they proudly show on Facebook or Instagram, the only places where I see them nowadays.

For many women, motherhood is the ultimate fulfillment, and I get it. But I don’t need to be pressured into finding a partner “before my biological clock stops ticking.” They tell me to “try dating apps; it worked for me.” Sure, congratulations. But I hated it. Men lied and were rude and disrespectful.

Of course, I wouldn’t mind finding a loving partner, someone kind, sweet, and maybe even handsome, whom I could fall deeply in love with. But for me, finding true love would be a reward in itself, something to be cherished and enjoyed, not just a means to have children as society expects.

What if I don’t want children? I haven’t felt the call of nature, and I don’t think I ever will. Since I was a little girl, I’ve been asked questions starting with “When you get married…” or “When you have children…” I’ve always felt disconnected from that expected reality. No, I don’t think I’ll get married – though I do want to find love – and I might not want kids.

But women can’t openly say they don’t want kids, as it’s often seen as a betrayal of nature and a selfish act. Women who don’t want to be mothers are considered selfish or even accused of hating children, which is suspicious for a female. You’re not supposed to trust a woman who doesn’t want motherhood to define her. Well, I guess I’m not trustworthy then because I prefer to be an “incomplete” woman for now.